Goals for 2009

I have been writing and rewriting this post in my head for weeks now. I think I know what I want to say, but then I waffle. So much has changed and so much hasn't and I see this trend continuing. We will move in 2009 to the east coast and live on a farm outside of Albany for Shannon's internship. I have never lived on a farm or on the east coast. PJ will become a full fledged toddler that I will most likely be taking care of full-time. I'm not quite sure how we'll afford this, but I'm also not sure I could find a job that would pay enough to cover the daycare I'd need plus money for our bills. I will be making friends in a new place with a kid, which may or may not help.

(See 2006, 2007, and 2008)

1) Keep reading. I read 78 books in 2005, 63 books in 2006, 59 books in 2007 and a dismal 28 in 2008. I didn't realize until like month 3 or 4 that reading while nursing is a fabulous use of time. There was a period where I had to turn the pages very quietly otherwise PJ would whip her head around (usually while still nursing, oww!) to try to get at the book. I know that I get in funks when I'm not reading something, so I've been keeping up with sci fi/fantasy mysteries (Dresden Files, Anita Blake series) as well as some non-fiction and baby development books. Plus whatever Laurie recommends.

2) Knitting/Crafting. Finding time and concentration to knit wasn't easy, but it's so enjoyable. I'm definitely not going to buy any/much yarn this year. We've got no money for it, plus I've got way too huge of stash. I want to make adult sized sweaters, clothes for PJ and more socks. Since we are moving somewhere cold, they will be appreciated and used. Shannon and I might take sewing classes before we move away. If so, I'd love to make PJ some clothes. If we have a washer/dryer at the new place, we'll probably switch to cloth diapers. Thus I might need to make some soakers too. I've also got some afghans that I'm crocheting to be quicker than knitting and to use up the old acrylic I've been carrying around for awhile now. My goal will be useful items made with what we already have.

3) Cook more. We are already doing this more and more by meal planning and our limited food budget. But if I'm going to be home full-time, I want to go further. Like make almost everything we eat from scratch including bread and buy into a CSA. Hopefully we could even have a little garden plot by the house we'll have on the farm so we could grow a bit: herbs, peppers, lettuce and maybe tomatoes.

4) Keep losing and/or maintain weight. I was one of those obnoxious people who lost all the pregnancy weight just by breastfeeding. I'm not going to lie to you, it was awesome! I even bought some new pants! I was eating often and still losing weight. It was unexpected. Now that I am no longer PJ's primary source of food, though, I suspect my metabolism will be returning to it's normal, sluggish nature. Thus, I should start showing a bit of restraint with the sweets. I doubt I'll be joining a gym anytime soon, but I can try to take a long walk with the kiddo everyday, either in the stroller or on my back at least while the weather is nice.

5) Work on appreciating the present. I realized more and more in 2008 that I do not appreciate what I've got as much as I dwell on what I wish I had. Usually this feeling has to do with possessions or things, but it's even more than that. Do I really appreciate and enjoy the time I have with Shannon or PJ? Often I am not as patient as I could be with either of them. PJ's going to be more and more challenging for the next few years so I need to work on my approach with her. Shannon's going to be insanely busy for her internship. This year might be hard on me for multiple reasons. I don't want to become a Pollyanna, but I also don't want to be whiny and pissed off in my head the whole time. I don't want to spend all day with PJ wishing I could be doing something else. Which leads to my next goal...

6) Take advantage of the full-time parenting gig. Chances are it won't last long, so I really need to make up a schedule and get on with it. PJ and I will have lots of time, a car and a little money. We can go to libraries, museums, zoos, parks, stores, whatever we want. We can play games, do chores, go for walks, maybe even make some playdates if we meet some other parents and kids. I want to enjoy watching my kid be a toddler. I want us both to be tired at the end of the day. I want to be useful and silly everyday.

7) Be nice to myself. Already I am stressed out about how we are going to move with a toddler, two dogs, two cats and all our junk. We have to make friends in a new place. Aren't eastcoasters notoriously standoffish? I'm going to be so impatient with PJ while trying not to be. So in light of my other goals, I want to add this one in to remind myself not to be so critical when I fail at the above goals.

8) Write. Maybe it'll just be Facebook updates, but regardless, I need to write. We are going to pay for internet so I may keep blogging. Maybe I'll use a paper journal and take a blogging break for awhile. Maybe I'll write more emails to folks or become an active blog commenter. Regardless of who's reading, I need to write for myself, as a memory of PJ's fleeting childhood and as a way to self-awareness.

9) Organize. I am filled with anxiety over this move, but I know that taking time to go through all my accumulated junk will help. The big purge before a move is always cathartic. Shannon and I will have May-July to do it right and proper.