week 20

Shannon began her 10-12 hour days this week, so on Sunday we took advantage of some free baby-sitting and saw a movie. It was good to be out and eat buttery popcorn and watch the big screen (we saw the "Sex and the City" movie, total fluff), but I missed the baby.

PJ has been swimming in a pool for the first time, unfortunately during daycare, not with us. She is tolerant to sunglasses which we'll try to keep up (although I've already lost one pair). I wish H had a few extra arms to take pictures so I could at least see PJ in her suit. No scratch that, I wish there was universal health care and a year of paid parental leave so I was able to be home hanging out with H, her kids and PJ by the pool. Stupid America.

I was feeling low most of this week, mainly because sleep and sleep theories are making my head spin. I just don't know what is the best for PJ or what is going to be the best in the long run. She's started screaming for Shannon at bedtime which is not helping her feel better about her reduced time at home. Everything has been feeling so tense around sleep and bed. I get frustrated because I want to get some chores done around the house, because I know she's tired, and because I can't do this for her, but am stuck trying to help or guide her. Sleep is so easy for me. The last rough patch I had about sleep was when I was a teenager. I found that guided self-meditation where you relax your body bit by bit was helpful, but that probably won't work for a baby.

By today, Friday, her early session of sleep alone in her crib appears to be returning. We still bring her into bed with us to nurse and sleep, and I think we aren't going to fuck with what works right now. We all sleep better when PJ has free nursing at night and when I can reach out and settle her without even waking up. Sleep is really all that matters right now.

Shannon's first week of long shifts has gone really well, with no emergencies. I have been fine with strapping on the baby after work and walking the dogs, mostly because PJ has been taking a bottle at 4pm or so. We even walked up to the library one day. The poor dogs haven't gone to the park in a week or so though. We've got to make time for them this weekend.