week 19

Before I talk about the sleeping, let me just say how amazing PJ is and how changed she has become. She notices and reaches for so much now. She makes all sorts of noises and seems to have moods. She flings toys around, smiles and makes faces at the toys she really loves, and drops them to see if we'll pick them back up again. She no longer wakes up frantic hungry like a newborn. She's so interested in what Shannon and I eat, the color of raspberry jam, the shiny coffee mug in the morning, the rattle of my vitamins are all so fascinating. She still loves the pictures on the fridge, the wagging dog tails, and the trees off the deck. Loud noises have started to frighten or startle her, like coffee grinding or the food processor. She even has started noticing when we leave the room and crying about it.

The sleeping got better this week, not regular but better. Let me just state right off that I am referring to her sleeping for us at night. Sleeping for Heidi during the day hasn't changed much. She naps anywhere from 2-3 hours during the day. She also generally takes 10-12 ounces and seems really content hanging out with Heidi, her 4 year old A and her two year old E. I am only marginally jealous.

As we worked on new and different ways to fall asleep this week, I retried the pacifier. PJ rarely took to a pacifier. She'd try to suck on the pacifier or her fingers like the breast, but mostly she'd choke or gag and not latch on. Sometimes like when she was overtired in the car, she'd gratefully suck on it for 30 seconds and fall asleep. But she'd also do this with your knuckle or finger or sometimes on her own after a few minutes of horrible screams/cries. Two nights now this week, after eating, she'd pull off the breast and then gleefully start sucking her pacifier and get drowsy. We have been trying to put her in her crib, sit a few feet away out of her range of sight, and see if she'll fall sleep on her own.

The answer is sort of. She needs us to put the pacifier back in her mouth a few times (which is why we are ambivalent about the pacifier but pro fingers in our household. Neither of us wants to have to do that 100 times a night especially when her fingers are right there) She will look asleep all curled up on her side for a few minutes and then decide to roll on her back and semi wake up/freak out. When she does fall asleep like this, it only lasts about 45 minutes.

Which has led to another discovery, that crying and/or fussing equals picking up. We have both tried patting her sweet belly and being all "there, there baby", but PJ only likes the pick up. Even if you pick her up and she immediately falls asleep on your shoulder, she wants that connection. I tried it out last night, not picking her up and then sitting on the corner of the bed just out of her eye sight. She started smiling and kicking when I came into view. She fussed for about 4-5 times and then when I still didn't pick her up, she wailed. So I nursed her and she fell into a deep sleep for about three hours.

I still don't feel like I know what I'm doing about teaching her how to sleep. More books are on their way from the library. I've been reading all that Ask Moxie has to say. I don't think I'm a cry-it-out kind of person, nor a believer in any particular sleep method. I just want everyone in the family to get as much sleep as possible. I want us all to be able to be tired and lay down and fall asleep. I'm just not sure how to get us there, especially since Shannon starts traveling at the end of this month and then doesn't stop until September.