From this to this in just four weeks.

I realized today that I can't really remember what being pregnant felt like. I've been so happy to get back to the body I knew. I mean I enjoyed being pregnant, but it was weird, sharing my body. Life right now is just moment to moment. I guess it's the amnesia that gets mentioned in relation to life with a newborn.

I also realized that I am not very good at anything the first time. I'm all nervous and afraid. I don't enjoy it much and I overthink it. Pregnancy and birth were no exception. If we have another pregnancy in the far future, I wonder if I will feel as afraid. I know that each one can be quite different, but will having had the experience already make a difference for me? I wonder.

Today I got so much done outside the house. I ran errands like a champ, plus I dropped off and picked up Shannon from school. PJ was totally awesome in the car today. She really does just fall right asleep to the sound and movement of driving. Otherwise, she needs bouncing or nursing. But I realize that the time she sleeps when we are out and about is just less time she might sleep at home. Often times she resists sleep at home. She will have huge yawns every 10 minutes, but neither of us can get her to fall asleep for more than 15-20 minutes.

I am going to start pumping soon to build up a milk supply for when I go back to work and so PJ can be introduced to a bottle. But pumping sucks and I'm dragging my feet about it. I kind of wish I didn't have to go back to work.