The holidays have been good so far, but my mom's computer is old. Like so old I can't rotate my pictures in Flickr. I don't know how I can cope. We've got Shannon's laptop but not the power cord so all my pictures will have to wait until we are back home.

While I am not overly tired or frustrated with my family, I am ready to return to my bed, my town, my cats. I hate not staying in the city because my mother doesn't live there. All I see of St. Louis is I-55.

One of my self-improvement projects has been to be more myself with my family, less the genial friendly conflict-free Laura I usually am. This year I made a major stride. I had a fight with my mother. I'm a yeller in general, not one to back down or get tongue tied from anger so I said some things I had never said before. Overall it was good, cathartic even, but it did result in me making my mother cry. I'm just a bad seed like that. I try to love her as the mother that she is, not the mother I've always wanted her to me. I try to throw out those unreal expectations and see and like her in the present, but it is not easy. We are so different, and some times I have a hard time respecting her.

Tomorrow I get to see Laurie, Rick and Ellen and I am so excited.