resolved

Because we have quite a bit of time before we start back on the babymaking train, I've been wondering if I should start slowly buying things. By things, I'm mostly thinking clothes and maybe some books or toys. I could even start knitting some items (or put yarn aside for items until after the holiday season I mean). This brings up a fundamental issue though as to whether or not this stockpiling will cause more heartache if we fail. I generally believe that heartbreak cannot be managed like this. Disappointment and pain are sometimes par for the course, regardless of how one tries to be prudent or not get too invested or excited. But there's some fear or worry inside me that thinks I can handle this waiting better if I banish all things baby from my brain. I think this is why sometimes the baby knitting depressing me. A better course of action might be to embrace my inner baby craziness. After the holidays, I'm going to work on patterns for me, Shannon and the futurebaby, fate tempting consequences be damned. (Or I might continue to worry about it, I reserve that right).