I check out fugged's livejournal all the time, not because I know her, but cuz she posts a tremendous amount of pictures, as do the folks on her friends list. She used to be listed on selfish's friend list. It's really interesting cuz I don't have a digital camera and, even with my trad cameras, haven't been taking many pictures of daily, pedantic shit. A lot of the girls who post play around a lot with their appearances and self-portraits. Some of them seem to have angles or expressions that they prefer. It's interesting that they put themselves in front of the camera so often. Self-indulgent? Creative? I'm not sure...
It's Thursday and I think this week has been one of my least productive ever. *sigh* I keep remembering that I'm starting school in about a month. That I'm going to school in hopes of finding a profession where I'm not just barely holding on. I'm still glad I'm starting in July, but my excitement/anxiety is building. Who will my peers be? my teachers? What books will I get? Going to culinary school means I can justify buying the Larousse Gastronomique It's a ridiculously large referrence book, 1350 pages, about food. Maybe it'll be a text and I'll just have to allow myself its bulk. It'll be the kind of book I read on the toilet until my legs fall asleep and that I hate having to cart into our new place when we move. I'm sure I'll hate moving my whole cookbook collection (which I can now adequately justify to myself).
I'll have knives that I'm a little anal about and that have their own soft carrying case.
Sometimes I wonder when I gave up on writing as a career. Or maybe it was always just a kid dream for me, I'm not sure. Writing for me has been more personal than anything else. Journalling is the only thing I ever committed to and even that has been sporadic since college. I think about writing a book someday but it is never fiction. It's a travel guide or a cook book or a chronicle of me and Shannon having a baby or building a straw bale house. Or maybe it's a book about her wildlife vet work or even cooler a documentary. I really love good stories, I just have no clue as how to make them up. I wonder if I could just write something and publish it out of the blue like that. Somewhere in college too my speaking style superceded any writing style I may have had. So my writing is very oddly rythmed I think. I don't always write everything I think and I have always been horrible about transitional words and phrases. Shannon rocks at that, writing a paper that flows. Mine always seemed to be fits and starts. They were even worse in French where I felt confortable with only a couple of transitional phrases and just repeated them over and over trying to get my literary points across so I could graduate.
