April - month 15

This is Shannon's last month in vet school. I almost can't believe it. Same as us moving in August. I know it's there. Everything's been building to it, and yet, it seems unreal still. Mostly I have been glad that we have the summer to work on moving. If we had to go through our junk, pack and drive cross country by June 1st I would seriously be freaking out.

Here's the stuff that's been happening this month. With some of my tax refund, I bought us an ice cream machine. Shannon has been getting irate everytime we buy expensive ice cream and notice how the package is shrinking. Breyers is no longer a half gallon; it's like 1.5 quarts now. Thus, we are taking matters into our own hands. I got a cuisinart one, probably the most popular one. It's not too loud, but it does get louder as the ice cream freezes. I am not bothered by the noise it makes as it works because white noise is good in our house. It masks the sounds of the tv and the dogs and Shannon and I talking while PJ sleeps. Long live white noise I say, especially when it results in a sleeping baby AND ice cream.

I got this book from the library (Child of Mine: Feeding with Love and Good Sense by Ellyn Satter) and it's just in time. PJ has been completely changing what foods she likes to eat and it has resulted in some stress. I try to remember that she is not going to starve or hate veggies forever. She still loves fruit and she does not need special foods made just for her. Every parent is going to bring their food issues to the table with their own kids, but I think it might be even worse with two mamas. Women and food are not taught to be friends. I think both Shannon and I thought we had made peace with our bodies and food demons, but then we had to feed another human. I really like Satter's book because one of her main tenants is that food should be joyful. You might think, duh, but really this is insanely revolutionary. Just allowing yourself and your children to enjoy food in moderation, from cookies to peas to hamburgers, is much harder to do than you can imagine. So this month we have been trying to follow her ideas (which I'm paraphrasing because the book is at home) that parents provide the what and when of the meal and the kids decide whether to eat and how much to eat.

One food victory has been PJ's eating of vanilla yogurt with a spoon and bowl! She's so proud of herself when she gets the spoon almost right side up into her mouth with yogurt on it. Last night she even wanted to eat her mac and cheese in a bowl with a spoon just like me.

PJ has begun the most adorable new skill ever. She's imitating; it's the beginning of imaginative play. She covers objects like baby or a shaker of sprinkles in a blanket or bump cloth and carries it around. It's like the cutest thing ever, especially since she gets rather obsessed and does it over and over and over. We think being the oldest in the baby room has facilitated this. She watches her teachers swaddle the babies and wants to do the same. We are all going to miss day care. It has been such a great place for her, filled with good people.

The other thing she is loving is pushing buttons on machines. The on/off/speed button on the fan in the kitchen and the swings at daycare are particular favs. She tries to mess with the dvd/vcr players but we are fairly vigilant about those. At daycare, she'll even combine her adorable skills and put a wrapped object in the swing and then turn it on, just like they do with the babies.

She also has maybe finally chosen a lovey/snuggly object. It's one of those combo blankets/stuffed animals. It's a bear with a silky and flannel blanket. She hugs it and tucks it under her arm when she sleeps sometimes. Shannon took one side off of her crib to make it more like the cot she sleeps on at daycare. Since she really doesn't sleep in it at night, we are hoping to use it for naps. I say we, but it's going to be Shannon with her over the summer using it for naps.

The other behavior that began this month was that PJ now protests when we transition from one task to another. Like it's time to leave in the morning, but she's busy wrapping/unwrapping her bottle of sprinkles. She starts screaming and flailing and being pissed off that she had to stop. She doesn't understand time, but we've started giving her 1 minute warnings. I've also got the idea for a transition song to pull out if it gets bad. Apparently that sometimes helps because kids will listen to a song more than their parents.

I fear this is just a precursor of toddler behavior. It stresses me out because all that uncontrolled emotion is just not how I (normally) roll. I have a temper and can be quite pissy/argumentative, but rarely would I ever go limp and bawl when I don't get my way. I don't know how to deal with all that emotion without squashing it. I need to work on my ignoring skills and not transfer my crying is wrong/suck it up issues onto another generation.