due date

Here we are, 40 weeks pregnant today. I go in for a weekly check up today which will include a non-stress test. I also have to schedule an ultrasound, a biophyscial profile one, to see how my uterus is doing. Although I do not believe that labor has started, I have begun to feel a lot more uncomfortable. There are more aches and pains and pressure. I'm also pretty sure the waddling is in full force now.

Work has been a mad rush to finish a database project that has lingered on since this summer, but I think we are finally up and running. The public and admin sites are working well, so woo for me. I can take my parental leave with no lingering work guilt (because I'm usually such a slacker at work).

I think I am ready for my pregnancy to be over. It has been remarkably easy (I don't know how I got so lucky) and quick. Considering how long I had imagined what being pregnant would be like, the actual event has seemed so much more of a blur. I think it's the rapid changes, the sheer pace of it. I've missed my body being just for me, although I doubt it will ever feel the same as before. Not as in a looks way, but in a function way. It was good having it all to myself for those first 29 years. I suppose that sounds a bit odd to say because my body is not something outside myself, but it definitely feels that way right now as it's growing a human.

I also think I'm ready to meet said human, to see its sex, if it has dimples or dark hair. I don't know how I'll be as a parent. I can be selfish and impatient and lazy way too often, but I will try to be generous with myself. I will try to work with Shannon and see her as my partner, not my punching bag.

I don't even know what to say as the end draws near. The sheer amount of transformation that is going to happen boggles my mind. We'll try to stay in touch. Wish me luck.