argh.

One of my coworkers recently got engaged, and I have to admit, I am jealous. Not of her or her situation. She and I are day and night most of the time, and I'm very happy being all non-traditional and quirky. But now she's planning and I can't stop myself from asking her all about it. Most likely I won't even be invited. I have a history of getting way too emotionally involved in her friend group at work, so in the past few years I've pulled away for my own sanity. But I'm jealous because I can't get married. Once again stupid feelings of less-than and all that rear up. I feel so stifled today. Can't get married, can't have a kid right now. How am I going to last until mid-2008? Because I don't want to be patient, I want to get going. I want to be pregnant before my 30th birthday next September. All the reasons we are waiting are still valid, but I don't care. Somedays I hate being prudent.