VIRGO (Aug. 23–Sept. 22): Writing in The New York Times, Joyce Wadler captured the essence of a genre that has lost its once heady repute. "Poetry, if we may take a moment to explain to the young people," she said, "is an art form somewhat like rap, only it does not sell, and since the death of Lord Byron [in 1824] there has been a paucity of bling-bling." At the risk of nudging you toward a cultural dead end, then, Virgo, I'll ask you to expose yourself to concentrated doses of poetry this week. In my astrological opinion, you need to have your brain scrambled and heart flushed in a lyrically healing way, which good poetry can do. Here are some excellent sources: (1) James Broughton, tinyurl.com/zabt9; (2) Mary Oliver, tinyurl.com/z325h; (3) Pablo Neruda, tinyurl .com/l6684; (4) Rainer Maria Rilke, tinyurl.com/gsy3t; (5) Daniel Ladinsky, tinyurl.com/f9w2j; (6) lots of poets, tinyurl.com/kyqzc.
LIBRA (Sept. 23–Oct. 22):U.S. patent number 5,996,568 is an apparatus for safely shooting hot dogs into a crowd. Patent 4,834,212 is a device into which someone can scream and howl without bothering anyone nearby, allowing her to vent pent-up emotions. Patent 2,272,154 is a ladder that spiders can use to climb out of a bath. Patent 4,247,283 is a gadget that allows a trumpet to be used as a flamethrower while being played. These are exactly the kinds of imaginative innovations I urge you to work on, Libra. Your inventiveness is at an all-time high, as is everyone's need for your inventiveness.
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