m.i.a.

There was no baby-sitting this past Saturday because A and T disappeared off the face of the Earth. Well I don't actually know what is going on with them, just that they did not answer their phone on Saturday nor called Sunday or Monday. You'd think free baby-sitting would get a warmer reception.

I had tried not getting excited about the prospect of being able to take care of their baby K for a whole afternoon. But I was doomed as usual because I can't ever really save myself from disappointment. I try to sound pessimistic and cynical while secretly being so hopeful and giddy.

I can't help the ridiculous amount of baby lust in my heart. I was hoping it would be like when we didn't have any dogs. When would dog-sit for friends so we could unlease all our dog-longing on their sweet pups. It was mutually beneficial and cathartic to be able to spend a weekend loving on dogs while we were waiting to get our own eventually. I know babies aren't dogs and vice versa but there is a parallel when waiting for the right time. It's hard taking a break from doing something we are both ready to do. We both have plenty of other things going on in our lives, plenty of good reasons to stick to our schedule, but it's still disappointing. I do know some people with babies, but since I'm not very close with them, I think it'd be weird to only want to see them for their babies.

I'm sure we'll have a baby/kid some day, some how. Unless we don't which I hope we'll be ok with. God, I hate waiting and not knowing or doing anything direct right now. I'll just follow pregnancies through blogs and offer to baby-sit and hopefully not sound like a desperate freak.